As humans, we all place our confidence in certain things. How we go about choosing what things we will trust and what things we won’t is another post all in itself. But something that I have noticed in my life over and over again is I have too much confidence in myself.
Many reading this will be shocked by me saying this, because many think we need to have confidence in ourselves. Today, it is often taught we need to have a good self-esteem, or a healthy self-image, or some balanced view of self-worth.
All the while, I am constantly being confronted by God to place no trust in man (that includes me) and to trust in Him alone.
Today, I about came to my wits end. Pure exhaustion and lack of drive hit me and I didn’t have the ambition or strength to want to keep going. I didn’t even want the strength to keep going. I just wanted to neglect my responsibilities and sleep.
At this point, I had three choices. One, be negligent and sin against God and my wife. Two, create some false view of myself and trust in myself that I can do it. Or three, recognize the truth, that I have no competence in myself and can accomplish nothing, and my only hope is in God to help me.
Paul knew this when he said,
4 Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. 5 Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, 6 who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. – 2 Corinthians 3:4-6
The Apostle Paul himself didn’t have any confidence or faith in himself to accomplish “anything.” Why should I be so foolish; or should I say prideful, to have any confidence in myself?
You see, we all have faith in something. But the question isn’t whether we have faith or not, it is whether what we are placing our faith in can fulfill what we hope it can.
The older I get the more God reminds me how incompetent I am and how dependent upon Him I really am even for the smallest things. I can’t breathe without Him, why do I find myself struggling to kill any faith in myself and place it in all in Him alone?
The truth is self-esteem is believed at the expense of His-esteem. And as long as we continue to esteem ourselves we are not esteeming God. What we are guilty of in self-esteem is really self-worship. We are guilty of pride. And God hates pride. Because pride seeks to undermine God’s greatest goal, His glory.
I am amazed at what a prideful man I am. And I am also amazed that I live in a culture where I am encouraged to have pride in myself. This idea has permeated the Christian culture and it is repugnant to God.
James says, “6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’” (James 4:6)
God is opposed to you right now if you have confidence in yourself. And if you have confidence in yourself, you are against God right now. However, if you acknowledge the truth, that you are incompetent apart from God. Then God is attracted to you and will give you grace.
Is this not the very essence of faith and repentance? A turning away of faith in self and a turning of confidence in God. The Psalmist writes:
I have yet to post about my amazing wife. This is largely because I do not enjoy writing about my life. Talking about my life experiences often makes me uncomfortable. It is much easier to express myself by what the LORD is teaching me. However, I feel it is only appropriate to write about the treasure my wife is to me.
Before I begin I need to make one disclaimer; I am by no means a good writer, and my affections for my wife are for more deep than the words that will be used to express the tremendous blessing my wife is to me.
Ashley-Nicole is the most considerate person I know. She is always aware of the needs of those around her. For example, today in church all the seats were taken. My wife had realized that there was a couple that came in later and had no where to sit in the church. She humbly asked me if we could give up our chairs and then went and offered our chairs to this couple and their child. Her love and concern for the body of Christ brings much glory to God.
Ashley-Nicole strives to honor God in her role as a help-meet. One time, when we were eating a particularly amazing meal that she had spent over the years of marriage perfecting, I asked her, “Honey, why do you think you care so much about cooking such amazing meals?” She responded, “I do my best so to honor you.” As I type these words I am moved to tears. Such humility and desire to glorify God in excelling as a help-meet humbles me greatly!
Ashley-Nicole is passionate to open our home to serve. My wife goes to extraordinary measures to create opportunities to bless people by having them over to our home. And when we do, she saves the best for them. Just recently, we had my parents in town and she recommended having my parents stay in our room, so that they could be more comfortable and feel more welcome. This required much more work in setting out clothes, changing sheets, sleeping in our guest room, and much more! She did all this with genuine joy in knowing that others were receiving our best.
Ashley-Nicole is quick to see evidence of grace in my life and honor me. She is regularly telling me how proud she is of me and how she sees God at work in my life. It is not an uncommon thing for me to enter into a room where my wife is bragging about me. This is both encouraging and humbling. Ashley-Nicole also leaves me a love note every night I come home from work.
Ashley-Nicole sees herself as a servant. One way I see this on a regular basis is the measure to which Ashley-Nicole goes to in helping get ready for work. Besides washing my clothes and packing me lunches she will often: brew me coffee if I am opening, get my clothes out, untie my shoes and lay them next the couch where I put them on, and run out to our deck so that she can get one last goodbye out before I leave.
There are many more but I wanted to end with this one.
Ashley-Nicole is a woman who trust in the LORD. Over two years ago when the LORD laid on our hearts from His word that birth control was not an option, we trusted in the LORD to provide despite the fact that we still had over a year of school left and wouldn’t have maternity coverage for another month or two. We ended up waiting almost two years before the LORD heard our prayers and granted us a child. During this time of infertility my wife wrestled with the LORD as to why He would withhold something from us that was a godly desire and pursuit. However, in all the wrestling and fear of never having a child, Ashley-Nicole placed her confidence in the goodness of God. She regularly confided in me and asked for prayer. Her confidence in God and desire to honor Him in a time when she hurt so badly was a testimony of her character that had been formed in her through the Holy Spirit.
I am married to a very godly woman who is passionate about God and the Gospel. She seeks to honor Him in all she does and never ceases to amaze me in what a wonderful friend I have in my wife, Ashley-Nicole! She is my best friend. She is such a joy and treasure! How can I thank God enough for her?
May God enable me to love you more and more with each passing moment, so that I may reflect Christ, as you so beautifully display the beauty of the Church! I love you Ashley-Nicole Willcox!
Your devoted husband,
Stephen M. Willcox
This is one documentary I want to see:
Blessings!
Imagine yourself hunting in the woods. You see a rustling in the bush. How sure would you want to be, before you fire your gun to kill, that this rustling is not being cause by a human? I would imagine that you would want to be certain before you shoot to kill.
Many have often used this analogy concerning abortion. The point is that everyone, before they perform an abortion, should be certain this is not a child they are killing.
Evangelicals have pointed to Psalms 139 to prove this.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Ps. 139:13-14a)
They state that throughout the whole Psalm David uses the personal pronoun “me” to speak of his life while in the womb. David goes as far back as conception when speaking of his life. Therefore, Christians who realize the authority of Scripture believe that life is present at conception.
However, we have been guilty of a major assumption. We have always assumed that because David speaks of his life existing as early as conception that life begins at conception.
But is this what the Bible teaches? Does life begin at conception? Does the Bible not speak of life existing any sooner than conception?
Remember, if I can at the very least demonstrate from Scripture that there is some reason to believe of life existing prior to conception, then all birth controls would be similar to firing your gun at the unknown life in the woods.
Scripture speaks of all humanity being in Adam when he sinned. Therefore all humans sinned in Adam and died.
“For in Adam all die,”
-I Corinthians 15:22a
The Bible also not only speaks of the nation of Israel in the loins of Abraham but specifically Levi being in the loins of Abraham. Therefore, Levi (himself) had paid tithes to King and Priest Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:9-10 states:
One might even say that Levi himself, who receives tithes, paid tithes through Abraham,for he was still in the loins of his ancestor when Melchizedek met him. (emphasis mine)
But perhaps the most compelling passage that speaks of life prior to conception is in Job. Job speaks to God and says:
Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese? You clothed me with skin and flesh,and knit me together with bones and sinews.You have granted me life and steadfast love,and your care has preserved my spirit. -Job 10:10-12 (emphasis mine)
Job speaks of himself existing being present in the semen. He doesn’t state that he was formed from this substance (like Adam from the dust). Rather, that he was in it being poured out by God’s hands and providentially formed with a body (This may give us some insight in to the account of Onan in Genesis 38:9-10).
This brings tons of questions to mind. I know.
I am still processing all the application. And personally, I would love to discuss it with you.
I may even write another post concerning application and answering some of the common questions that seem to come up with these truths.
At the very least, I think I have shown the rustling in the bush is unknown.
And at best, that the rustling in the bush is a life. So lets put out guns down heh?
Blessings,
Stephen
P.S.
I am largely indebted to D. Skip Smith for this post.
Check this out! Logos is doing a Bible giveaway! To enter to win it is totally free!
Blessings,
Stephen
Verse:
John 3:16; Jn 3:16; John 3
Keyword:
Salvation, Jesus, Gospel
With Operators:
AND, OR, NOT, “ â€
Perhaps the most common argument for birth control among Christians is the stewardship argument. God has entrusted people with responsibilities, wisdom, and the ability to make wise or foolish decisions. Therefore, deciding when and how many children one should have can be based upon what that person deems is wise and appropriate.
Perhaps you have a ministry opportunity that would be demanding, can you really raise so many kids properly and do a good job with your work?
Maybe you don’t have a great job. Can you provide for a family of say 10?
These are all the hypotheticals that often come up in comments on birth control.
However, rarely is the question ever asked, does God place the responsibility of how many kids we should have on our shoulders?
Do husband and wife really decide when they are going to have kids? Or how many they are going to have? Is this what the Bible teaches?
It would seem, that though there are actions we can abstain from that will make pregnancy impossible (excepting miracles) we really can’t decide when we have children or how many we will have.
I can name countless people who were doing everything they could to not have children but God gave them to the couple anyways.
I can also sadly state I know many people who desire and long for a child and have seen no success.
I also recently encountered a couple where the doctor had told the wife that her body is not capable of getting pregnant. She did.
All this to say God opens and closes the womb and not man.
Besides, if God intends to give me a child I would prefer my posture be one of arms wide open rather than one of clenched fist that He will have to open.
I can’t imagine telling my kid, “We didn’t really want you. But God gave you to us anyways. So we are glad he did.” oppose to, “We prayed and prayed for God to give us you. And He heard our cries and gave us the answer to our prayers!”
But back to the original point concerning the stewardship principle/argument in relation to birth control.
God decides who, how many, and when. so can we honestly say God would not provide for the family should they get pregnant because they weren’t using birth control, oppose to the same family who does and still gets pregnant.
I am not saying do whatever you want and God will always provide. God may be calling us to a lot more difficult lifestyle that we had planned. Perhaps, God is calling us to one with less free time, conveniences, toys, spare money, fancy things, bigger car, etc. to actually lay down our lives and invest in our children so that they would impact the world for Christ.
Perhaps, God is actually calling us to live lives that aren’t as safe as we Americans like. Perhaps, God is calling us to trust in Him.
Birth Control: Changing our perspective on Children. (Part 1 of 3)
Birth control in the last 60-70 years has become quite the controversy in Christian circles. There are differing opinions even within denominations and among local church members.
Is the Bible completely silent on this issue? Have we been neglecting this because of cultural influence? Is this a gray area in the life of a believer? Perhaps a conscience issue?
Two years ago, I encountered someone who believed that Scripture taught that birth control was a practice Christians were not free to participate in. I have often encountered people making the decision to receive as many children as the LORD gives. But I have never encountered someone who thought this is what Scripture taught everyone to do.
The idea put me immediately on the defense. I came up with hypotheticals and Scripture passages that I believed condoned birth control for certain periods of life (my wife and I were currently both students and did not see it wise to have children during this period).
The conversation went something like this:
Skip:I don’t believe it’s Biblical
me: To use birth control?
Skip: Yes.
me: Ever?
Skip: (with a fascial expression saying,”Oh boy, here we go”) Ever.
me: What if you can’t afford another baby?
Skip: God will provide the means for what He gives.
me: But hasn’t God called us to be good stewards? What if God’s means is birth control?
Skip: I don’t believe Scripture calls us to that means. Just like He doesn’t call us to use abortion or stealing.
me: Do you wear a seat belt when you ride in a car?
Skip: Sometimes… Why?
me: Why, if you know God is sovereign? Hasn’t He already planned your days of life here on earth?
Skip: So in your analogy the child is the accident?
me: Point made.
Previously in the conversation I had agreed to Skip that every child was a blessing from the LORD! By using the seat belt argument Skip had pointed out that I was comparing a child to something we don’t want. Therefore, birth control like the seat belt was saying, “Lord I know you are sovereign and good and whatever you give and do to me is good. However, I don’t want your blessing right now, maybe at a time that I deem better.”
You see a child is not like an accident. A baby is not something we receive like a trial. Scripture teaches us we are to receive children like a warrior in need of arrows in battle (Ps. 127:4). Not wanting children is like going to war and not wanting ammo.
In this post my hope is two-fold.
1. To challenge you on whether you see children always as a blessing. Whether planned or unplanned. Whether things are seemingly financially stable or unstable. whether it is or will not interfere with future plans, goals, and/or desires.
2. Can you used birth control and still be fulfilling the call in Ps. 127:4. That is not only seeing children as only a blessing but seeing them as a much needed/crucial asset to accomplishing the goal set out for you by God as husband/wife.
